


F is for Friends who do stuff together

by UltimateProtagonistNerd



Series: UPN's Homestuck Short Stories [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Erisol's pottymouth, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-17 13:38:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3531296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltimateProtagonistNerd/pseuds/UltimateProtagonistNerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the time during the session we weren't shown. Jake sings a bit and kicks around some skeletons and emotions with his Sprite.</p>
            </blockquote>





	F is for Friends who do stuff together

"2o wwhat are we doiin 2hiittiin around on this 2tupid planet? wwhy do ii even bother goin on your advventures?"

"Golly erisol! You certainly do it because it's fun!"

"defiine 'fun'"

Jake cleared his throat and began singing "F is for friends who do stuff together"

Erisol pleaded to the horrorterrors, begging them to make him not, "Cod, plea2e tell me he aiin't goiing to 2iing"

"U is for you and me!" he continued.

"he fuckiin is, ii2n't he?"

"N is for anywhere and any time at all...", his voice raised in pitch "out here in the vast fields!"

"son of the fuckiin batterbiitch, are you quiite done with that?"

"No my comrade! You simply must repeat the jolly tune with me!"

"ii'm not 2iingiing 2omethiing from 2pongebob goddamnit"

"But erisol!"

"you knoww ii fuckiing HATE you riight about noww?"

"Just repeat after me old sport!"

\---

Erisol sighed, Jake probably won't allow him to leave unless he complies and sings this childish nonsense.

"F is for friends who do stuff together!"

"f iis for fuck your2elf in the nook"

"U is for you and me!"

"u ii2 for you thru2tiing a cactu2 iin your proteiinchute"

"Erisol my chum, that was rather rude!"

"wwhat else ii2 neww?"

"You can't just shove a cactus in your throat! You need to eat them slowly! My grandmother taught me that."

"wwhat the actual fuck"

\---

They were interrupted by a horde of incoming skeletons, which Jake promptly shot up as Erisol stood back and watched, forgetting that he could float and winding up just on the ground.

Jake came back, blowing out his pistols when his device rang. He simply looked at the caller ID and put it back into his pocket, sighing.

"Erisol my chum, dirk just rang for me."

"really? your liitle human boyfriiend agaiin?"

"I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed and flustered by all this attention. Should i tell him?"

"ii don't care, thii2 matter doesn't concern me" 

"Come on, won't you help a pal out?" Jake was frowning.

"look, ii don't dii2h out any romantiic adviice, ii kiind of kiilled both of my giirlfriiend2 when ii wa2 aliive as two diiferent people"

"I-I'm sorry to here of that chap."

"don't you start piityiing me, human" the sprite spat.

"You sound like you need a gentlemanly hug!"

"no... plea2e don't touch me"

The sprite tried to wiggle and pry himself free, for such a scrawny human he had a tight grip.

"...fuck"

"What was that sport?"

"... thii2 horriible human iinteractiion... i actually could get u2ed two iit... maybe"


End file.
